9-15-2021
I have been thinking about a weight loss blog for some time. I wanted a way to put all of the crazy thoughts that roll around in my brain on something to help me deal with all of the emotions related to weight loss. I want to start by saying in my 48 years of life dealing with my weight has been my biggest adversary. I have been over weight for as long as I can remember. I asked my parents when my weight issue started and they tell me that it started when I was between 8 and 10. I grew up in an age where our parents didn’t have a million pictures of me so pictures of me as a youngster are scarce. I do recall seeing a picture of me when I was about 5 in back of my dad’s van with headphones on. I wasn’t heavy then but outside of that I don’t have concrete details.
I do know that growing up as a kid I gained a reputation as a kid that loves to eat. My grandparents told the story of going to a buffet and thinking that I was done they paid the check only to see me get more food. It was kind of a cute story but it really illustrates that I love eating. I still do. But surprisingly that isn’t the most difficult aspect of my weight loss battle or struggle or journey. Hopefully through this blog I can lock down that word. But that is a discussion for a different chapter of this.
While my weight has fluctuated over the years I have always been heavy. The lone period of my modern life started in my senior year of high school when my dad put me in weight watchers. I had amazing success and got down under 200 pounds. I think that I bottomed out at around 185 pounds. One the memories from this time was working in the McDonalds drive thru in Cape St. Claire and looking at my reflection in the glass and taking my hand and running it straight down my waist. It is a memory that still makes me smile. It was great for me on a number of levels. First is that it provides me confidence knowing that I was once normal.
I am sure that if you are reading this what I said makes you upset or offended. But is how being heavy feels. You feel like someone that sees all of his friends in a group that you can’t be part of. You feel like an outcast. The other aspect that is nice is that I was able to take pictures of all of my senior events like graduation and prom thinner. One thing that you realize when you have a weight issue is that the normal life events that generate pictures are not pleasant. Nothing will make you feel worse than to be in picture with other people that aren’t over weight. Or worse yet, and this has happened to me is to see a bunch of pictures at an event that you were present and you aren’t in many. It’s sad but I’ve grown to understand why that is.
I kept the weight off through most of college. I was very active in college. I played rugby and swam and biked everywhere. I moved off of campus my junior year and biked everywhere until my bike was stolen and then I walked. I got a car my senior year and then got married. This was the beginning of the end. You will hear people trying to caution someone that is young that likes to eat that once they stop being active the weight will quickly be put on. I learned in my early 20’s how true that is. I graduated, became a dad and started my career and the weight followed.
One misconception about someone that is over weight is that some how they aren’t aware of their weight. Trust me, we know. On top of having weight issues I also talk very fast. I can’t tell you the number of times that someone has said to me “do you know that you talk really fast?” Throw in people serenading in “Oh Danny Boy” and I can’t think of anything that I have heard more in my life. That being said I had a real epiphany while clothes shopping one day. Besides the number on the scale clothes size is another indicator as to the progress of weight management is going. At the time of my epiphany I was wearing a size 48 jean. I went to local clothing store and tried on a pair of slacks that were 48s and were tight. I panicked. I knew that the next step was a 50. And what followed was really not good. If I recall correctly I was in my early forties at this point.
This scare jarred me and started on my modern weight loss efforts. I started walking. I had watched my first farther in law die much younger than he should. By the time that he passed away he was unable to walk up the stairs at the library. He was forced to use the elevator.
This scare jarred me and started on my modern weight loss efforts. I started walking. I had watched my first farther in law die much younger than he should. By the time that he passed away he was unable to walk up the stairs at the library. He was forced to use the elevator. I didn’t have the eating thing down yet but I knew that there was a direct correlation between activity and long life. I am remarried and my father in law is an amazing man. He is in his mid 80’s and is incredibly active. We went out canoeing a couple of years ago and he was the in the back.
While I was just jumping into changing my eating habits I knew that there was a direct correlation between activity and long life. I am remarried and my father in law is an amazing man. He is in his mid 80’s and is incredibly active. We went out canoeing a couple of years ago and he was the in the back.
I became really obsessed with walking. At the time I was living close to the rail trail in Glen Rock Pennsylvania. I walked it regularly. I ended up going as far south as the Maryland border and as far north as Seven Valleys. At times I would walk up to ten miles at a time.
While I was working on being more active developing better eating habits was something that I had less immediate success with. Like most people my age I looked to technology to help. I downloaded a couple different calorie counters like My fitness pal on my phone. It helped me to at least be aware of what I was eating. I recall a program I watched where the makers of the show observed 2 or 3 people that were bed ridden due to their weight issues for a period of a few days and tracked what they ate. And then the asked the people if they knew how many calories that had eaten. They were all way off. They would guess 3,000 to 4,000 calories. Most were consuming over 10,000 calories a day. This showed me that most people have no idea how much they consume.
I had moderate success exercising and counting calories. I stopped the eating habits that was making me gain weight and things improved. Then in the summer of 2014 my life took a major change when my first wife and I separated. The weight loss actually improved because I found myself dating and I had more time for walking. That being said at that time the lowest I could get to was 285 but for a guy that topped out at 312 this was an improvement.
March of 2015 I started dating my amazing wife Cindy. I was smitten with this amazing woman and I proposed in December of 2015. We bought a house together and moved our four kids in the follow March and were married August 6th of 2016 we were married. Cindy is amazing partner and has really helped me with my weight loss journey (I like journey).
January of 2017 Cindy approached me with the idea of joining weight watchers. Both of us had been successful with weight watchers in the past. So on January 31st 2017 we walked in the Hampton Inn in Shrewsbury Pennsylvania and started. That day I hit the scales at 294 pounds and it began.
My success started immediately. I lost 7.4 pounds the first week, though I seem to remember having a stomach virus. But it counted and the following week I lost another 3.8 pounds. Success continued and I hit my lowest point on November 14th 2017 when I weighed in at 257.4. At that point I had lost 36.6 pounds. From that point up to the beginning of this year my weight went up and down. Additionally during this time period my oldest son Bryce joined weight watchers and lost an incredible amount of weight. Unfortunately he ended up putting all of it back on.
The beginning of this year my wife decided to change things up and dropped Weight Watchers. We had decided at some point a year or so before that to go virtual and weigh in at home. It was cheaper and when the coronavirus hit we were in a good place. Cindy decided to go with a program called Noom. It was similar to weight watchers but gave her additional coaching. She had success. This motivated me and I started tracking everything in weight watchers and exercising regularly. I also had success. When I started my revival in January of this year I was 284 pounds. On September 2nd I weighed in at 257.
This brings me to where I am at now. It sounds like everything is great right. Well this brings me to why I am writing this blog. The date it September 15th and this morning I weighed in this morning at 262.4 pounds. Yep you can do the math. That is 5.4 pounds heavier. If you are wondering if I’ve spent the past 13 days eating french fries and cheeseburgers and drinking cases of beer or sleeping all day long you would be wrong. I have enjoyed a few beers each week and had a few fries here and there and the only cheeseburgers was a turkey burger out at lunch with my parents. And I have continued the same exercise regiment that got me here. Long story short I have done nothing differently than I’ve done since January.
For the record tomorrow is weigh in day and I don’t know what I will be at. It causes me anxiety. It scares me that I hit the wall in 2017 at 257.4 and now here I am in 2021 hitting the wall again at 257 pounds. You often hear about athletes or sports teams that have things that they can’t overcome. Peyton Manning struggled against Florida in college. Michael Jordan struggled to get past the Pistons in the 80’s. And you hear that these athletes get it stuck in their head. While Jordan did finally vanquish the Pistons others have not been that fortunate. The John Stockton Karl Malone Jazz never conquered the Bulls. The Ryan Sandberg led Cubs never broke the curse. And like these examples when you hit the wall dieting the voices start to creep in. Maybe I am never meant to be thinner. Maybe I should just be content with how I look.
As glum as this looks I do want to point out that I have plenty of silver linings. First I have many people in my life that love me no matter how heavy I am including an amazing wife that loves me and loved me when I was 294. She is a wonderful partner that encourages me and makes me feel special. I have also improved my health. I have type two diabetes and have brought my numbers way down to a controllable level. And finally I am eating much better. I have successfully incorporated healthy eating habits like eating and enjoying fruits and vegetables. I also eat mostly turkey bacon and egg beaters for breakfast and eat mostly seafood and poultry as opposed to red meat. I recently chuckled when I commented to Cindy that we were out of broccoli. If you had told me 6 years ago that we were out of broccoli I would have thought that you were crazy.
So each week I will report how I am doing and give my thoughts on how things are going. Wish me luck.